Spiritual teacher Teal Swan has mentioned how death would be relief to her, has a history of self-harm, and suicide attempts. She has suggested to her followers that suicide is an option, while stating, “I’m not going to advocate for suicide.” In response to this statement and more, read the Rebuttal to Teal’s Suicide Segment in “Teal Swan Answers Allegations” video. She has used inappropriate and suggestive language to convince guests that they are unhappy living, she has glorified death and suicide, projected thoughts, feelings, and beliefs onto guests such as “You are not committed to life”, and once joked about her first client’s suicide that prompted the audience to laugh. As evidenced in Teal’s Facebook group, Teal Tribe, many of her followers are suicidal with no qualified training, and support experience (see Suicidal Posts for how Teal handles those who are suicidal in her group). Her teaching methods display her lack of degree, license, specialized training in trauma therapy, nor accountability. None of this behavior is “revolutionary” as she likes to describe herself and her work, it’s irresponsible, if not, dangerous. Follow the blog for upcoming articles on this subject. Many of the statements below are documented in the video, The Suicide Catalyst.
Disturbing Death & Suicide Mentions:
Suicide is a Reset Button
While suicide is one’s choice, Teal Swan minimizes suicide by calling it a “reset button.” She also believes she knows what source thinks (God). Whether it is one’s choice or not to commit suicide, this belief displays Teal’s lack of consideration for the friends and family members of a person who has suicidal ideation, and a general lack of respect for human life. This video was created six days after Teal’s first client committed suicide in 2012.
“What suicide is, is pushing the reset button. It’s not a good or bad decision in and of itself. It’s not something that source either condones or condemns. You cannot say that suicide is wrong without also saying that death is wrong. Death is always a choice. You choose not to participate in the same way as you chose to participate in the first place because you are two points of perspective. What I mean that by this is every single death on this earth could be seen as a suicide because in order to die your individual perspective has to align with your higher-self perspective in order to die.”
Do People Who Commit Suicide Go To Hell? (Episode About Suicide) – Teal Swan, 5/26/12
Death Is Liberation
“For the majority of people here on earth, death is such a liberation that you would give it to yourself. If you were suffering, you would give it to yourself. You definitely would not use it for the punishment of people who commit the worst crimes on earth [Teal smiles and giggles]. . . . You perceive separation; death you can perceive no such thing as separation. Do you want to know what death is really like? Tell me everything you like the most.” The guest describes things he likes. Teal responds by saying, “To experience death is like all those things [you like.] at once. And then you go past that layer of reality and you are in complete and utter peace.”
San Diego Synchronization Workshop, Part 5 (11:30)
Suicide is Totally Fine
Teal’s first client committed suicide after telling her that she did not want to live, and was “not committed to life.” Teal gave up on helping this client, and she took her own life. In addition to that, teal talks about her client with no sign of empathy. Teal has named this client numerous times in her videos, and has spoken in detail about her conventional psychiatric treatment – which by law, should remain confidential for fifty years post death.
“I actually, interestingly enough, lost my first client to suicide this last year. And this was a woman who was absolutely miserable. I’m talking every moment of her life was a nightmare. And so we had that very serious sit-down talk where we had to say, alright, we’re either committing or not committing to life because every time I gave her a suggestion she’d stop in two days doing the suggestion. So then we have to ask the question do we really want this to work. And what’s interesting is that when she asked herself that question the answer was, “No. I’m done.” There’s nothing that any healer could ever do for that type of vibration which is totally fine. From source energy there’s nothing wrong with death from that perspective. So, she chose to commit suicide.”
Suicide Can Be Our Safety Net
Not only can Teal’s “technique” be potentially dangerous and triggering for a person with suicidal ideation, she fails to acknowledge that perhaps the follower/student does not know what would make them “feel a tiny bit better” when they are mentally unstable. Not only that, Teal illustrates this statement with a sad looking kitten in dark lighting (see below). What about uplifting imagery such as a playful kitten? If Teal leads the student down a path, it tends to be a dark one.
“So, here’s what I want you to try. Number one, you have to know that you can always kill yourself tomorrow. You can always kill yourself in five minutes in fact. And what does this do for us when we actually acknowledge that this is the case. It makes it so that suicide can be our safety net, or a reset button that’s always available to us. Why is that important? It means we can set suicide aside because it’s always an option long enough to focus on the five minutes that’s right in front of our face, or the hour, or the day that’s right in front of our face. I want you to live with this in mind. I can always commit suicide tomorrow, so what can I do with today? Or, if tomorrow seems too large of a timeline, make it I can always kill myself in an hour, so knowing that what can I do with this hour. Then use that hour, or that day to focus completely, and totally on quite literally anything that makes you feel a tiny bit of relief.”
I Want To Kill Myself (What To Do If You’re Suicidal) – Teal Swan, 1/16/16
You Don’t Want To Live
Teal puts words in the guest’s mouth, make an unfounded assumption about her psychological state, and potentially exacerbates her problems by putting self-destructive thoughts into the guest’s mind. Additionally, Teal teaches the guest to not trust herself and exacerbates the followers’ problems by instilling these self-destructive thoughts.
Guest: Because I want to be happy and I want to live?
Teal: That’s also a cop-out. Because you don’t. I want to be happy and I want to live is not the real truth for you. Do you see that? You’re the kind of person who really doesn’t actually want to live yet. You haven’t committed to life yet. So, that’s just a lie. Sure, you would like it if life felt good but you don’t. But you don’t feel like it’s possible so you would rather die.
Miami Synchronization Workshop (01:09:00)
Just In Time For My Suicide Video
Teal, with no sign of empathy, flippantly responds to a guest who shared that her sister committed suicide:
Guest: My sister killed herself on New Year’s Eve.
Teal: Yea. [nods head with no sign of empathy]
Guest: [Takes deep breath]
Teal: [cuts guest off and says…]
Just in time for my [suicide] video [with Teal smiling]!
Suicide Would Be Better
In this excerpt, Teal has a one-one-one psychotherapy session with a client, and advises on the topic of alcoholism:
“So, let’s understand alcohol in the first place. What alcohol does and I’m literally going to sum it up for you in ten seconds. Alcohol gets rid of pretense that’s what it does. So most people and this is absolutely the case with an alcoholic. You’re gonna meet they are — I mean deep levels of loneliness. Like, the most intense levels of loneliness you can possibly experience. The type of loneliness, I mean, loneliness doesn’t even make it. I mean as a word, it should be replaced because underneath many of these addictions including loneliness. The type of isolation that a person is experiencing, is so incredibly acute that, that word doesn’t cut it. It’s like suicide would be better.“
Teal misleads people by stating the source of alcoholism is loneliness. This is a generalization that is not true. Another common generalization that Teal makes throughout her talks, is stating “most people”. In her mind, humanity thinks, feels and believes the same things. Most disturbing about her statement, is that she believes loneliness does not adequately describe the level of pain one feels as the source of substance abuse, that the better solution of recovery could be too difficult to reach, and that suicide would be the better solution.
Online Workshop Sep 2017 Alcoholism
Suicide Means Fulfilled One’s Purpose
Teal believes that people who commit suicide have fulfilled their purpose and understand love.
“People who commit suicide – what you’ll see is they have fulfilled their purpose because they are understanding – you know, their higher self. Their source stream is understanding the concept of love. But they only unite with that love which they have created once they commit suicide.”
Part 1 – Spiritual Synchronization Workshop Host by Spiritual Leader, TEAL SWAN
Teal’s Mental Health “treatment”: Imagine Suicide
As a part of Teal’s psychotherapeutic “treatment” as she describes it, she has her guest imagine her death, prompted in gory detail. She also suggests that imagining her suicide is a “fantasy”. This is not the only time. And it is not the only time where she shows no sign of empathy when a guest shares that a loved one attempted, or committed suicide, while grinning throughout the dialog. Teal manages to make showing no empathy a normal thing, while eliciting laughter from the audience at inappropriate times.
Teal: I want to walk you through a process. Are you open to it? I want you to imagine dying. I mean, literally take yourself there, and tell us how you did it. This will be good. This is a controversial treatment. I was going to warn you guys in advance, but like, this is what saved me from my suicide attempts of which I had several when I was younger [grins].
Guest: So, you’re saying…
Teal interrupts: I want you to involve us in your fantasy.
Guest: So you’re saying imagine dying?
Teal: How did you kill yourself? I mean, are you… are you the kind of person who is so passive that you would just let yourself get sick and die, or are you the kind of person who would take yourself out?
Teal prompts the guest to describe her (violent) suicide with no consideration for the guest and audience – whether they can handle or not. It is worth noting that Teal claims that she cannot see, or hear about violent acts due to her alleged ritual abuse. The guest goes on to talk about her relationship with her mother, and then shares:
…my father just, uh, tried to kill himself. This is actually the year anniversary today… which is a little weird. Um…
Teal interrupts: Oh it’s perfect timing! [Teal smiles big – laughter from the audience]
New York Workshop (Part 1)
Suicide Is Teal’s Go-To – Two Examples
A guest shared how he doesn’t feel connected with people and brought up a possible history of emotional suppression with his ethnic heritage. Instead of Teal helping him learn how to open up, she immediately links his culture to suicide, and blames past generations for why he feels the way he does. He gets out about three sentences before Teal interrupts:
. . . suicide in your culture is not, I mean, if you look at just the energy of something right? Different cultures relate to different experiences differently. So if you go down to the Bible Belt, suicide – because it’s a catholic culture – is like OMG mortal sin, horrific right? Which is a totally different attitude than in Japan *smiles* . . .
And throws in a racist remark toward the end…
. . . You and your little Asian self don’t have to tell yourself you’re going to fail. . .
San Diego (Part 3) (15:00)
This is a second example of Teal randomly asking her guest whether she has struggled with suicide. The guest did not mention suicide because it is not of concern, but Teal pushes it unnecessarily.
Teal: Have you struggled with suicide?
Guest: Like, from me or from someone else?
Teal: No thoughts?
Guest: But my mom tried to.
Oslo Synchronization Workshop
If Suicidal, Just Do What You Can
A guest shares, “I’ve been suicidal and I don’t feel like that’s ever gone away.” Teal gives
exceptionally poor advice to a guest with ongoing suicidal ideation who shared that she was struggling with a lack of motivation and will to live. Teal also displayed her lack of education and specialized training for those who struggle with suicidal ideation. With no sign of empathy, Teal states:
“Do what you can, from where you are, with what you have. You don’t have more access to truth than that.”
New York Synchronization Workshop (10:20)
I Would Have Offed Myself
Teal has proven to romanticize suicide such as describing it as liberating, shared how she attempted suicide four times and, in this example, shared how if she did not obtain a certain thing, that she would have committed suicide. And she describes herself as a “spiritual luminary”.
I’m telling you, your ticket out of hell is people. If it wasn’t for my intentional community I would have offed myself years ago.
New York Synchronization Workshop (14:00)
You Don’t Want To Be Here
In this clip, the guest shares how she doesn’t feel inspired by life. Teal immediately leads the guest to the furthest extreme by making an assumption by speaking for the woman and telling her that she does not want to be here [the planet]. This is not what the guest had told Teal:
Teal: Can I speak to the aspect of you that doesn’t want to be here?
Guest: I don’t know him[?], but you can.
Teal: You have that in you.
Guest: Well, I don’t – I don’t feel it.
Teal: Do you like it here?
Guest: Um, Prague do you mean?
Teal: No, the world.
Guest: Of course, the world. Um, honestly I don’t – I haven’t found something that really motivates me – makes me feel alive and electric. I just feel – kind of, um, I don’t want to say empty cuz that would be too much, but just kind of useless.
Teal: You don’t want to be here. Yeah, like on earth.
The Suicide Catalyst
Commit To Life Or Death – Which Way You Gonna Go?
Here is an example of Teal’s “commit to life or death” extreme confrontation that plays into her preoccupation with death and suicide.
“Okay, so we’re going to be aggressive at this. Are you ready? You’re being pushed into a crossroads where you literally have to decide whether you’re gonna commit to life or death. It’s almost like in you – when I’m playing with your energy. Like I just have that first idea. There’s a part of you that like, literally won’t even entertain the idea of what joy looks like until you make the decision. It is like a dead end. So, let’s toy with the idea. Which way you gonna go?”
Teal Swan ♥ Brisbane Workshop Part 2 (3:26:50)
Living Isn’t Always Right
During Teal’s rapid fire delivery about “committing to life”, she slips in that “living isn’t always right”.
“The pattern with most sensitives is there’s one foot invested and the other foot is kind of weighed uninvested saying okay I’m really ready to go. So, what we have to do is pick one foot up and put it on the opposite side of the fence. So, in your particular scenario you keep being sent these people because the universe is trying to get you to make that commitment. But you have to know why you’re going to make that commitment. Cos it’s not necessarily the right one either. That’s something I like to challenge people on. Of course my hate groups really love when I do that [laughter]. But I like to challenge people on that – like, we shouldn’t just assume that living is always right, and there’s no point really honestly in like being on this planet specially from the universal perspective. There’s no point in really being on this planet if we’re going to be dragging ourselves to be here all the time. It’s the same as a relationship – your relationship with the planet Earth is the same as a relationship with significant other. If you’re not willing to completely commit to it, you really… you know like really try to make it work then. It’s not going to work.”
Amazing Interview With Teal Swan – Past Lives, Future Lives, Consciousness, and Live Readings..
#1 Risk of Completion Process, Is Suicide
It leads one to wonder why Teal is selling her book, The Completion Process if the practice can be so dangerous, and potentially deadly.
“Can I explain why I said this is a dangerous process to begin with? Okay, because I think that makes people nervous because I basically said I had an existential crisis and it involved Eckhart – in, whether I should even release this to the public. . . . So, some people will find that their emotional healing process is that kind of birth process. It is fast, it is furious, and it is all you can do to keep up. So basically, the major worry that any of us have is that in going into and re-experiencing some of these incredibly intense traumas – that if somebody doesn’t go all the way through the process itself, they can get super overwhelmed and um, self-harm. So, the number one uh, risk I would say with this process is self-injury… and potentially suicide.“
Completion Process Webinar
Feels Good To Die
“A lot of people who commit suicide, they get in those negative spirals. So, they are desiring things so extremely and they are not letting themselves line up with that thing that they are desiring so extremely. So, the only way they can fully line up with it is through death. All – everything they have desired. . . That’s why it feels so good to die.”
Tea Time With Teal, ‘How to get out of a negative spiral’
Original video no longer available
Address “The Should” To Die
In this clip, Teal talks about not resisting feeling bad, but then urges viewers to not resist death. This was not the topic of the conversation. As with the majority of her media, she smiles at inappropriate times. The emotion and topic are incongruent.
“So, ‘I shouldn’t feel bad.’ Start to address your issue with ‘shouldn’t’ because maybe we should. I mean, you feel bad, so you should. That’s the reality. Same thing though when it comes to death; ‘They shouldn’t die.’ Address the should [big smile – see above]. So, I mean if there’s something that people can do for themselves is to question the ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’.”
Teal Swan Interview with Charly Hogenbirk, Paravisie Magazine
Line Up With Everything When You Die
According to Teal, your eternal self can line up with everything you’ve ever wanted when you die. Whether this belief is true or not, this type of statement could be deadly for a person with suicidal ideation.
“You have basically accumulated in what a lot of people who teach, and teach law of attraction would call a vibrational escrow. It’s essentially that every time you experience something unwanted you broadcast what is wanted and that becomes the vibration of your eternal self. Your eternal self which has no resistance, adopts that vibration exactly, so when you die you line up with it and you become that . . . so when you die it’s like lining up with the best food you’ve ever eaten, and the lover who you’ve always wanted, and I mean I could list this whole thing – everything you’ve ever wanted from your life, you line up with.”
Tea Time With Teal, ‘How to get out of a negative spiral’
“Giggling Guide” & Ego Suicide
In this clip, Teal assumes many people are exhausted by life. She further displays her preoccupation with suicide unnecessarily.
“But I think that many of us who are watching this particular session, are at a point in life where it’s become too exhausting. And so it’s like no matter how scared you are, you’re almost ready to commit ego suicide [inappropriate giggle], And like, you know… just call it as it is.”
The Suicide Catalyst
Teal has every opportunity to live up to her self -proclaimed label, “Spiritual Luminary”, and be an inspirational leader for a radio show, but more often than not, she defaults to being negative.
Host: I don’t know, planet Earth is okay, but I’m kind of over it.
Teal: Yea, me too. If we’re just being honest, me too.
Teal Swan – Knowing Who You Truly Are – July 16, 2015
Crucified Like Christ
“So, it’s really interesting to me that people you know always want to put the emphasis on how is Teal [Teal talking about herself in third person] the one making this happen when the reality is, I’m a revolutionary in this field. That’s what I am. So look at what happens to revolutionaries? What do you think happened with Martin Luther King? What do you think happened with Christ? What do you think happened with Ghandi? Look at these people. What’s happening with them, is what’s happening with me.”
Teal Swan Answers To The Allegations Made Against Her (Exposed, Fraud, Fake, Scam) (37:16)
Match to Being Murdered
“What blew my mind when I went out to look at my thousands upon thousands of these life path potentials for my future, I was a match to the very gruesome public murder in every single one of them. . . . Jesus opted for public execution, for example. Would we even know who he was today, if it wasn’t for that death. Who knows? . . . If I had a guarantee 100% that what I am doing in the world and the change I am trying to make – would it only work if I got killed, would I still do it? And would I stick to that life path and the answer is ‘yes’.”
AAE tv | The Power of Desire | Teal Swan | 9.24.16, Ethann Fox
For more examples of Teal’s martyrdom, read the blog, “Destined for greatness and martyrdom is hallmark of a cult leader.”
Deliciousness of the New Perspective on Suicide
In an interview, Teal was asked about her vision for her business, Teal Eye. She shares how end of life care is her first passion and goes into much detail.
Teal: These people are going to be supported TO DIE [said with emphasis], and everybody who is there is going to be very, very good at helping people TO DIE [emphasis again].
Host: Okay but, wouldn’t it be better to let’s say, heal them? Or, why do we want to help someone to die?
Teal: Because some people are ready. Some people are ready to die. And this happens quite a bit too when you’re dealing with somebody whose – the family is too busy. They can’t deal with this person, and the person themselves is old enough, done enough that they don’t want to – nor do they have the energy at this point, honestly to do the interpersonal work that is required to keep themselves alive. Death is going to be a choice and even if we decide to, you know, live for extended periods of time, our perspective is going to change. So, basically the way of expansion in the universe – that’s why it sort of like a hypothetical – could you live forever in a human body? You could live in a human body indefinitely, but would you choose to if you knew the deliciousness of the new perspective? People would choose to transition into the new perspective. So matter what, when you’ve chosen to come in the first place to one perspective, you’re going to choose to leave it once the expansion is no longer served through that perspective. . . .
So, that’s my first little passion [giggle].
Teal Scott: Teal Eye’s vision in detail (Nova Zem’s interview with Teal Scott, 9th of June 2013)
A Lot of Things Worse Than Death [BIG SMILE]
“Let’s face it, I can tell you there’s a lot of things that are worse than death. So having personally experienced what it’s like to be able to escape and to be physically tortured and emotionally tortured, I don’t care, I don’t care whether I die. . . . I can tell you, there’s a lot of things that are worse than death [BIG SMILE].”
Act Out Your Pain & Suicide
Teal prompts the viewer to feel and/or visualize their pain, death or suicide in great detail in the following examples. She suggests to heal one’s emotional wounds by imagining how wonderfully peaceful it is to be dead. A licensed therapist should be present with a delicate and sensitive practice such as this, as it could trigger suicidal ideation or worse, suicide. Teal does not provide any suggestions for stopping the practice if it becomes too unbearable. The follow-up questions ask the viewer to reflect on one’s life and death. This could be quite triggering as well, harmful or even fatal for viewers who are suicidal. Below are example statements Teal has made about acting out pain, death and suicide:
“What is suicide? It’s giving up completely on life. So, let yourself physically give up on life by falling on the floor. When you’re on the floor, I want you to imagine dying. Now here’s the thing, you have been loosely, and mostly subconsciously toying with the idea of suicide. You’ve been thinking about it, but not really consciously. This time, what I’m going to encourage you to do is to consciously imagine committing suicide. This is different than suicidal ideation – which is just a subconscious reaction to an emotional state. Imagine how you want to kill yourself and where you want to kill yourself. Imagine every grisly detail. Imagine who is there how they will react. Become aware of the impact you want it to have on other people and why you want your suicide to have that impact. Imagine watching every detail of your funeral and what happens with your body.”
I Want To Kill Myself (What To Do If You’re Suicidal) – Teal Swan, 1/16/16
“Consciously imagine committing suicide imagine how you want to kill yourself and where you want to kill yourself. . . . Imagine that now you have the relief you were seeking. You’re not in pain anymore. You’re watching Earth from that removed viewpoint that you left behind. You’re just objectively viewing the madness down here on earth. Let yourself imagine and feel that sense of peace for as long as you can.”
I Want To Kill Myself (What To Do If You’re Suicidal) – Teal Swan, 1/16/16
I urge you to throw yourself into this practice with vengeance [closing with a seductive smile]. What you are going to do is close your eyes and imagine that you died yesterday. I want you to imagine how you died. . .
Follow The Feeling Process (For Transforming Your Negative Emotions) – Teal Swan, 2/13/16
“My fingers are cold – it’s hard to breathe. I just kind of want to run away. You can do a body scan through your whole body, and just notice the ways that that motion and feeling are expressing itself in the physical body. My body’s shaky. Okay, so what I want you to do is to move in the direction of that shaking. Just surrender to it. Go towards it and allow it to completely envelop you. So we’re not doing anything deliberately to change this emotion, or the sensation. We’re literally observing it, and being in it, and that’s it.”
Follow The Feeling Process (For Transforming Your Negative Emotions) – Teal Swan, 10/19/13
Commit to Life or… Not
“Commit to life or not” is one of Teal’s core teachings. She talks about this throughout all her media. It is an example of her black and white – all or nothing, thinking. Teal ignores the mental capacity of a person by assuming they are able to make that choice. Below are example statements Teal has made about committing to life or death:
“We have to decide whether we’re more committed to death or more committed to life. The reality is if we’re apathetic we’re actually committing passive suicide instead of living our entire lives stuck in the state of living death. We honestly have to decide whether we’re going to commit to life or not. Let me remind you that death is not wrong so make this decision based on the truth of what you want instead of what you think is right to want.”
How to Cure Apathy – Teal Swan, 12/27/14
https://youtu.be/wu9MPRzpEbQ?t=8m11s Another example…
“So far you’ve been passively committed to life. It’s a bit like you’ve had one foot in, and one foot out. Most people make the mistake of thinking that just because you’re here in life, you’re committed to life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. You’re never going to make the kind of life that you want to live unless you’re willing to completely commit to life itself. The same way that your soul originally did when you came to this life in the first place. Consider this your recommitment process. Your innermost being may be putting you in this horrible crossroad, so as to force you to stop being passive, and to make a choice to align with your original intention for being here by completely committing to life. The last time I myself started to contemplate suicide, I had this kind of a realization that I was straddling the fence of life and death. I was only partially alive in fact. I realized I had a choice to make. I get to either commit to death, or I get to commit to life. No more being in the middle.”
I Want To Kill Myself (What To Do If You’re Suicidal) – Teal Swan, 1/16/16
Don’t Go in the Direction of Joy, Especially if You’re Suicidal
While Teal’s brand of “shadow work” is to delve deep into suffering, at what point does it become dangerously close to pushing a follower into self-harm and suicide?
“The way to end suffering is not to go in the direction of joy. It’s to walk straight in the eye of the storm of your own suffering. It’s not [like or my] process. It’s the kind of thing where it’s like you’ve been put into a rock tumbler. Every single edge, every unnecessary aspect of your being, is going to be stripped from you. It’s like a living hell.”
Spirituality 2.0 (How to Set Yourself Free) – Teal Swan, 5/31/14
Teal irresponsibly minimizes, misleads and redefines a critical psychological state – suicidal ideation. The proper definition of suicidal ideation by Medical News Today states, “Suicidal thoughts, also known as suicidal ideation, are thoughts about how to kill oneself, which can range from a detailed plan to a fleeting consideration and does not include the final act of killing oneself.” This redefining of a formal psychological term, further displays Teal’s lack of education in basic psychology when she works primarily with “clients” who suffer from depression and mental health issues.
“This time, what I’m going to encourage you to do is to consciously imagine committing suicide. This is different than suicidal ideation – which is just a subconscious reaction to an emotional state.“
Think About What Death Can Give You
If you want to end your life, think about what death can give you and then go for that while you’re still alive.
Meme above ~ Screenshot from Teal’s website below
Suicide Quote – Blog Posts – Teal Swan
Death Is A Relief
Teal believes “death is a relief” and contemplates taking her own life.
“You do not see a way out. Desperation replaces the air that you breathe. What stops you from taking your life? The fear that you’ll come back to do it all over again. You can’t bear one more second. But you have no choice. This devil of mine is what I fear. I do not fear death. Death is a relief. I fear being in a place where I cannot find relief no matter what I do. That is the definition of torture.”
“Kambo is like a re-set button. It ends a chapter of your life and begins a new one. It is like the opportunity to die without dying.”
“It isn’t easy to thank something that feels like a veil of imminent death.”
Biggest Gift of Being Suicidal
“I feel like the biggest gift of being suicidal, actually attempting suicide – having a “near death experience” is [hand quoting gesticulation] — you’re not as trapped by life. I feel like… most people when they don’t know what death feels like, or what the perspective is like, they’re trapped by stuff that doesn’t matter. It’s like, your day job, and what you’re doing day-to-day, relationship drama, and when you do that, you realize what really matters, and you realize the only thing that transcends both life and death, is love. It’s, I mean, there’s nothing to risk. If you understand that you’re going to die and that’s a reality – it’s like you’re living with that everyday – you can’t take anybody for granted anymore. It’s like, you know you can lose anything in a second. So, it’s impossible to get bored of somebody. It’s impossible actually to prioritize anything other than relationships. Doesn’t matter.”
Many Things Are Worse Than Death
“Many things are worse than death. Surviving the pain of my life and trying to hold it together for all these years, has been worse than death. Now I see that the will is a defense. When the will takes over and attempts to overcome, the experience and the human body and the soul are all simultaneously harnessed by the ego and led around by it, like a horse that has been ‘broken’. Will contradicts feeling; feeling which tells us that giving in and letting go and death, is the ‘downstream option.'”
Willingly Die If Can’t Save The World
Characteristic of a cult leader, Teal makes a dramatic statement that she is willing to commit suicide if she can’t save the world:
“The blessing of people like myself who were born incapable of coping with the current world is that we have only one decision to make… Willingly die to leave the world or willingly alter the world.”
The concern here is that she alludes to potentially committing suicide if she cannot save the world, and cope living in it. If she does, she could influence her followers to do the same. After all, in all her media except for her “Ask Teal” videos, she expresses that she is a victim of just about everything and anything in her life.
Commit in the Other Direction and Choose Death
“One of the most painful realizations you can have is the realization that no one can rescue you from yourself or your life. When you feel powerless already, the awareness that there is no one to rescue you but you is enough to push you right over the edge. Many people commit suicide when they come to this realization. Those of us who feel the most powerless are faced with the decision to either commit to life and do what we can, with what we have, from where we are, or to commit in the other direction and choose death. The bottom line is, we were raised in a society that socializes us within the model of reward and punishment. One of these punishments is the withdrawal of love, which means death to the nervous system of a physical human.”
Go Kill Yourself
This excerpt is from an archived blog by Teal’s ex-boyfriend, written in 2014. The ex removed the blog from the web, but it was archived prior to being removed. Teal also wrote a blog about this same ex boyfriend, labeling him as a psychopath, included a photo of him, and shared personal information about his family without their consent. Teal has repeatedly crossed boundaries with many people.
Teal’s ex stated:
“I tried all sorts of things, from a neural connection of failure and pain, and thankfully they did not work!!! Nothing worked! In the alien cult, the matriarch tried everything and nothing worked for me!! NOTHING!!! She eventually told me that there was no hope for me and that I should go and kill myself. (Man, that girl was hurting).”
Live & Die By My Side
Teal believes that the people closest to her are so loyal, they are willing to die by her side. Her dramatic language reveals her cult-like mentality. Cult leaders are known to have a safe padding of loyal “container friends”. Not only does she reveal she has container friends, but also narcissism by naming her followers after her… “TEALERS”.
“And I can genuinely say that I have officially gone from a person who had absolutely no one; a person who was drowning in the kind of isolation that sucks breath from your lungs, to a person who has people that are so close to me that they will live and die by my side. So often when I meet other Tealers, all I can think to myself is ‘where the hell were you when I was in high school’?”
Murder Is Not Evil
Even though Teal is writing about perspectives, they can lead to misunderstanding by suicidal followers, and could even perpetuate horrendous crimes. Also peculiar, is that she apologizes for murderers.
“People who fear false prophets distrust themselves, but more than that, they fear malevolence. For that reason it is important to know that there is no such thing as evil. Every single thing on earth is done for one reason, because the person doing it thinks that they will feel better in the doing of it. Murder is not evil; it is done because the murderer wants to feel better. That doesn’t make murder right or good; it simply shows that behind every single action lies a positive intention. All hateful acts are misguided attempts to carry out a positive intention.”
Jim Jones Thought He Was Helping
Teal sends messages to her followers about false prophets that is confusing and risky, as well as apologizes for cult leader Jim Jones.
“[I]f I were the only singular God there is, I would send down many false prophets to confuse people. I would send down false prophets by the thousands…” She goes on to say, “The ultimate example of what most people consider to be a false prophet is Jim Jones… Do not believe for a second that Jim Jones thought that he was harming people. From his perspective, he thought he was helping people.”
Revolutionary Like Dr. Kevorkian
Teal casually states that, had she become a doctor, she would have been revolutionary like Dr. Kevorkian. This comparison is very concerning considering her glorification and preoccupation with death, and suicide, while also displaying cult characteristics that of a cult.
“The savant in me cannot be swayed to perpetuate a profoundly sick system of practice and I do not possess the ability to abide by a rule that does not make sense to me. I would have been a revolutionary in the medical field as well. Revolutionary doctors end up in jail like Dr. Kevorkian.”
It Isn’t Death That Scares Me
It would be one thing if Teal occasionally mentions about herself in relationship to death, but it is too numerous to count. In her blog, “To Florida”, she reveals that dying would be easier than dealing with her emotions.
“It feels a bit like flying thousands of feet in the air in a giant metal death trap. I had my first in-flight anxiety attack on my way to New York years ago, after years of loving to fly. Here’s how my ego mind gets me… It isn’t death that scares me; it’s being unable to escape emotional or physical pain.”
There Is No Deadness In Death
Speaking about spiritual symbolic death can be a powerful thing, but when combining all of Teal’s numerous mentions of death and suicide throughout her media, along with depressed and suicidal followers, it becomes problematic.
“And if you observe and consciously experience emotion, it does not build. Instead, you find yourself in a place that is disorienting in its familiarity and yet disorienting in how alien it feels. It is a place where no movement occurs. The space between thoughts. It is the canvass upon which the ego is painted. There is a timeless peace that transcends opposites. At first, it feels a bit frightening. You ask yourself ‘Is this what it is like to be dead?’ and the answer is yes, but there is no deadness in death. It is in many ways a state of aliveness that is even more alive than life itself. It is a state of infinite potentiality. As you acclimatize to it, you find that the stillness is alive. All of consciousness is awake within you. Most talk about spirituality is pointless because we are using words to describe something that can only be experienced.”
Release Resistance To Death
A significant part of Teal’s “spiritual career”, a term she uses often, is having an online store, selling everything from merchandise and clothing — and what she calls, “Frequency Paintings”. She believes her frequency paintings heal through vibrations. One of them is called, “Return to Source”, meaning, releasing resistance to physical death. She states:
“The vibration of de-manifestation. This is the frequency of physical matter raising in frequency so as to re-join the frequency of pure source energy. It is a good vibration for anyone looking to enhance meditative or out of body states. It aids those who are currently feeling stuck to “see the big picture”. It is also a very good vibration for anyone who wants to release resistance to death. It helps people “cross over” into other (higher) dimensions.”
Death Feels Wonderful
In an archived version of her website, Teal publishes a Q&A page. A follower of Teal writes:
“I was raised Catholic. It had a huge influence on me growing up. So, what I want to know is, is there a hell. Does the devil exist or do we go to heaven when we die?” -John W.
Instead of Teal speaking about heaven and hell, she immediately sidetracks, and plunges into how “death feels wonderful”. It is as if she is selling suicide.
“This is a very emotionally charged subject for people. Many people do not like the answers I give to these things. Nevertheless, death feels wonderful no matter who you are, no matter what you have done in your physical life. Even though it is easy to get caught up in lack of awareness and therefore crave the linear justice of default karma, heaven or hell, there is no punishment or reward waiting for you in the form of a life or place once you die, regardless of what you have done in this life.”
Selling Death: Positive Energetic Vibration
While death may be heavenly as Teal suggests, this is a green light for followers who have suicidal ideation.
“When you die, you will have the experience of passing into an overwhelming white light, this is because as you reverse this process of manifestation, you will pass through the stage of Tulpa (thought form) and then through the beginnings of your physical manifestation which is light. Because you will be returning into Source, you will be immersed immediately in the undiluted positive energetic vibration and unconditional love of Source which will feels like heaven to you.“
Make Imagining Your Death Believable
“Close your eyes and imagine that you died yesterday. It’s over. How did you die? Try to see the way that you died and try to see who was there with you when you died. What circumstances surrounded your death? Spend some time really making this imagined experience believable and real to you.“
Suicide X Seven = Overkill
Throughout Teal’s media, she mentions her self-injury and suicide attempts, including in her book, Shadows Before Dawn. As mentioned above, it is difficult to really know if these attempts were in genuine despair, or to garner sympathy for control, validate her satanic ritual abuse backstory, and/or portray herself as one who has overcome adversity for her “spiritual career” as she puts it. However, it is apparent that she is far from having any sort of emotional stability, having victimhood as her regular “go-to” as shown in her Instagram “Daily Updates”, blogs, interviews, and even, her “Synchronization Workshops”. Here are a number of mentions from her blogs:
“I walked into the kitchen after hugging my father post conversation, the hatchet officially buried between both my parents, and a song came on the radio. Tears came to my eyes. I was in utter disbelief. It was Lichen, by Aphex Twin. A song I had played on repeat while attempting to commit suicide at 18 years old.”
This is one of numerous examples of Teal’s ongoing victimhood, complaining how much the world is against her.
“If I’m not bad… Why was I the black sheep of the family? Why did I end up in such deep darkness, cutting myself and trying to commit suicide?”
“So when it keeps being demonstrated that I cause people pain, I start to believe that I am wrong. That my existence is wrong. This very train of thinking is what led to my suicide attempts years ago.”
“My parents ended up getting me off the hook with the police because I was such an emotional wreck at that point in time and at risk for suicide.”
“The answer I found is that if I get happy and stay alive (do not commit suicide) then my parents will never know the depth of my pain. They, along with the world will remain forever oblivious to the depth of my pain and what was done to me.”
“I gave up on life as well. I tried to commit suicide twice that year. And ever since then, I have felt like I am just too dark and the effects of my past are just too big for a man to love me past the phase of initial excitement. I sat in the grass rocking myself back and forth and crying. Sure enough, when I saw my abuser again, he informed me that his death was a punishment for going away. I’d rather die than find out that the time that has passed between us has ruined us for each other.”
“I wanted to die. But I knew the universe wouldn’t be kind enough to let me die. . . . I have something to show you it says. Die to yourself it says. Die to the next self and the next self and the next self until no selfhood exists.”
Teal’s Husband Ale: “Reset” Would Feel Much Better
“I could see how a “reset” would feel much better than years worth of trying to heal what feels un-healable.”